Industry plants

Like it or not (I don’t), no one suddenly drops a musical bomb which becomes a hit. Despite those ~”you have a hidden talent”-like TV shows and all similar attempts at creating consumers of self-discovery. Besides some ironic anecdotes, such as the white guy who overtook Dr Dre despite he was the one debiting the money for him, or, the pornographic failure Alizee was in comparison with her owner, Mylene1, I really doubt there’s such a thing as self-launched artist. Remember when the Clairo phenomenon went straight into the trash after her father was doxxed as working for the musical industry as a direct example of the self-launched meme.

I’m fond of Elizabeth Grant, aka Lizzie Grant, aka […], aka Lana del Rey. The thing with her is that all of her commercial songs suck, except the ones released under less popular names, except the ones “leaked” to the internet and except some she used to sing live. They took mostly everything away from her, besides the name or even her face, through surgery, but, they couldn’t take her voice out of it, so she’s herself, and by that I mean a ton of false notes, her attractiveness being precisely falsing. I’m not kidding.

Compare how she sings Ride ‘live’ on TV with the studio version and one can tell there’s two versions of her, the one with a deep voice who actually puts passion into singing, and the retarded hall effect studio version which tries to besoften her voice with some retarded country music accent2. Check her Amy Winehouse-ish version of Blue Jeans and how she tries so bad to correct herself to a more softer studio version voice but it still sounds thick at times. Listen to her when she used to look like a normal human being (and not even here nailing the autotune they want out of her). Watch her being transformed, perfectly falsing with such a harsh voice, see how much she changes in just a few seconds (2:21 to 2:33). If it wasn’t for the public spoiling it, even these live songs3 would be the best of her since she’s like all pumped to sing different from the playback tune despite it’s already louder than her, resulting in these crazy versions some get to record well, where the public, the playback, and herself, blend into this note-rich remix.

Sure, I understand that (maybe) her music isn’t worth of discussion having more than 15 years of age, and, on the other hand, I could do a better and more exhaustive list of her songs, but, that’s gonna be up to the reader4.
I do like it.

Finally, at least she’s sincere (this being said, I’ve always considered, as a personal opinion, that You can be the boss is about Weinstein as well, aside her song Cola5).

Footnotes

  • ^1 if you were at menopause and listened Celine Dion instead, well… well. French is not a singable language anyway (and those only exist for themselves in their bubble)… but the videos and the phaenomenon she was…

    and, yes, Dre wanted to pension off Eminem, the same way he pensioned 50 Cent, Xzibit, Snoop and all those token guys you don’t hear of anymore. best of it, Dre put all the money in Beats, the brand of headphones which sold like candy after the Crash of 2007, despite people had almost no money but ‘dey still needed to be “cool”. He later sold that business for $3 billion and some still claim blacks are naturally dumb, lol. 3 fucking billion.

  • ^2 she’s from NY ffs, it’s not as if you can be a ’sad girl’ from/in the flyover states.
  • ^3 see how she sips drinks? sometimes she also smokes. “american entertainment”, consumerism to superlative levels.
  • ^4 she has like a ton of songs that were “leaked” in many places and some even in various versions, I mean, you can’t even tell when she did it, when Polydor did it, if they actually informed each other of it; but, you’ve already deposited enough money in Google’s accounts, and Polydor’s, and Sony’s, by watching the youtube vids I’ve offered and this’ the only way Americans experiment music anyway
  • ^5 now this is one of those ‘women’ things I don’t understand and I’ll probably never; I mean, I grew in a country where TV hosts would fuck politicians a priori and then make a hell fun out of them and a posteriori too (guess they’re more prone to have sex if enraged), but this USA-thing of ‘I get a degree in philosophy, sing in nightclubs and wipe the right lamps to launch myself in an industry where I can’t even be myself’ is way way beyond me